20130120

what to do?

So I've been wondering this for a while and this is partly on my list of what to write and since this topic is close to my heart and also personal I just have to write about it.

As some of you may know, I'm currently on my second year, studying Degree Programme in Business Information Technology. Fall was kind of downfall for me in personal aspects of life so school suffered as well and I came to think that maybe this is not what I want to do afterall. I'm seriously changed my mind about what I wanna do like thousands of times and studied few things as well before this. Anyway I have to finish this spring cause I don't have any other option (quitting is not an option for me) and then I can apply to another school or something.

So what I want to do. I've come to the conclusion that it's gotta be something that is either music related, photography related or kids related. I also wanna help people cause it's kind of in my nature to do so.

I realized that this is now 5th or 6th year that I've been going back to that elementary school to teach as a substitute teacher and I always feel better after being there. It just feels like I'm doing something that matters. It's not just for myself but for the kids and seeing them learn things and really enjoy the time in school is beyond words. It's hard to explain if you haven't had the opportunity to experience it or you are not just that kind of person that enjoys it.
I'm soon turning 25 and I'm having a bit of a crisis about it cause I'm still studying and still don't know what I actually wanna do. I've been trying to do lot's of things and I've managed to do so also. I'm glad that my parent's never pressured me to study something I don't want to study or do something I don't wanna do.

I guess I'm still searching that meaning cause I kind of lost it last summer for various reasons.

For a moment I actually thought that this area that I'm studying now could be the one but guess not. Well my mind is changing fast so I'm not sure what I'm thinking next month or so. One thing I am sure though, is that I really enjoy working with kids which I think is rare cause many people I know don't even like kids at all.

But about searching yourself or the thing you wanna do is kind of normal i guess. Some people know very early and some keep searching many years. So if you are younger than me, don't panic, you have time. Just explore. It's never too late to study something you like. Or to work somewhere you like. I'm trying different things and so should you. That just makes things kind of easier when you have to choose between something.

Time will tell what I'm gonna do. Currently I'm living in this apartment and I'm kind of happy to be here; in Helsinki etc. I'm still not used to being single cause I was dating so long but I think that'll pass too in time. Now I'm just trying to enjoy what I have and not stress about the future so much.



13 kommenttia:

Saph kirjoitti...

I feel the same as you too - not sure of what should I do in the future. Not entirely sure of what I want either.

Heikki / no7 kirjoitti...

Saph Join the club. Well you still have time because you are young (stalked your blog) :''D And you can try different things to see which ones you like ^^

OonaSofia kirjoitti...

You were made to work with kids, seen you with them and you just look so in your place surrounded by them :)

Vicente kirjoitti...
Kirjoittaja on poistanut tämän kommentin.
Heikki / no7 kirjoitti...

OonaSofia aw thank you so much :))

Soft Shock kirjoitti...

this might have been the best year for you after all..when talking about self exploring. Difficulties always make you stronger, and wanting many things is more of an virtue than it is a debility.. we live in a changing world, being something stable for ever just does not fit to an 21th century thinking any longer.. it takes some time that people will notice, but soon we will be adapting our children to different changes of life so they will manage "solo" on day.. anyhow, don´t worry,you have all the time in the world.

Heikki / no7 kirjoitti...

Soft Shock You might be right here. world is changing, all the time. it's just hard to notice sometimes and properly adapt.

Soft Shock kirjoitti...

mmm..but if you KNOW you really cannot adapt properly to something constantly changing ,it might help you to feel better.. still, don't want to sound incoherent or boring here, come to study pedagogy here in Joensuu! :)

hugs Heikki, hope to see you one day soon!

Heikki / no7 kirjoitti...

Soft Shock true, true! It might be easier to study there but I'm not ready to leave Helsinki yet. see ya! *ww*

Elina kirjoitti...

it's never too late to change career and study something new ^-^ I've tried so many jobs and studies some and hopefully now studying something I'll do most of my life. but if not, then I'll study something else :) I hope you find what you want to do. just remember that you can never know if you don't try :) like with your current studies, now that you've tried and realized this, you can continue to something else. I really understand how you feel about being single. it took me a year to get somewhat over my ex. everything felt weird alone. it is said that it takes half the time you were together to get over it. so you'll get there, it just takes time :)

Heikki / no7 kirjoitti...

Elina thanks for the comment! I'll hope so too. So in my case it should take 1,25 years :'D We'll see. It's just that everything is kind of different. Not saying it's a bad thing but different anyway. Time will tell how things will go from here.

Soft Shock kirjoitti...

It is easier to enter here because everyone heads to Helsinki ;) its nice and peaceful city, but we will also come back to Helsinki when we are both finished.I miss traffic and people!

Heikki / no7 kirjoitti...

Soft ShockI bet it is but still if I live in Finland, I wanna live in HKI.

Lähetä kommentti