So I've been wondering this for a while and this is partly on my list of what to write and since this topic is close to my heart and also personal I just have to write about it.
As some of you may know, I'm currently on my second year, studying Degree Programme in Business Information Technology. Fall was kind of downfall for me in personal aspects of life so school suffered as well and I came to think that maybe this is not what I want to do afterall. I'm seriously changed my mind about what I wanna do like thousands of times and studied few things as well before this. Anyway I have to finish this spring cause I don't have any other option (quitting is not an option for me) and then I can apply to another school or something.
So what I want to do. I've come to the conclusion that it's gotta be something that is either music related, photography related or kids related. I also wanna help people cause it's kind of in my nature to do so.
I realized that this is now 5th or 6th year that I've been going back to that elementary school to teach as a substitute teacher and I always feel better after being there. It just feels like I'm doing something that matters. It's not just for myself but for the kids and seeing them learn things and really enjoy the time in school is beyond words. It's hard to explain if you haven't had the opportunity to experience it or you are not just that kind of person that enjoys it.
I guess I'm still searching that meaning cause I kind of lost it last summer for various reasons.
For a moment I actually thought that this area that I'm studying now could be the one but guess not. Well my mind is changing fast so I'm not sure what I'm thinking next month or so. One thing I am sure though, is that I really enjoy working with kids which I think is rare cause many people I know don't even like kids at all.
But about searching yourself or the thing you wanna do is kind of normal i guess. Some people know very early and some keep searching many years. So if you are younger than me, don't panic, you have time. Just explore. It's never too late to study something you like. Or to work somewhere you like. I'm trying different things and so should you. That just makes things kind of easier when you have to choose between something.
Time will tell what I'm gonna do. Currently I'm living in this apartment and I'm kind of happy to be here; in Helsinki etc. I'm still not used to being single cause I was dating so long but I think that'll pass too in time. Now I'm just trying to enjoy what I have and not stress about the future so much.
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